letting go
there are many things i don’t know how to do, but letting go of someone i deeply care for must be pretty high on that list. when your head tells you not to listen to your heart anymore, why is it so damn difficult to follow through? over the years not letting go has gotten me in all sorts of trouble, has significantly complicated my life and all my friends have long grown tired of saying “i told you so” over and over again. yet i refuse to learn my lesson. i’d rather keep holding on to what i truly feel than taking the easy way out. my emotional life has no exit scenario.
consequently i wish i could call recent developments in my life a ‘refreshing change’ but it actually feels like the ultimate defeat to me that i have finally been beaten and have been left with no choice but to let go of the one closest to my heart (family excluded). it saddens me, it frustrates me and i keep drowning in emotions i am no longer allowed to show (have). life lesson learned but also living a new life that will always feel empty.
